OMG, I’m watching some stupid-ass movie called Baby on Board, and Lara Flynn Boyle has a small role in it. I used to love her back when she was on The Practice. I mean, we’re talking total girl-crush here! But I kind of lost track of her career after that show ended, and hadn’t seen or heard anything about her in a long time.

Then I saw her in that movie today, and I was in utter shock! Something is seriously wrong with her face. It’s totally noticeable in the film because it’s, like, frozen in place. She can’t change expression at all, and it looks very bloated compared to the rest of her body.

At first, I thought this was due to a seriously botched plastic surgery job. I went online to see what others have said about Boyle, and that’s what the general consensus seems to be.

But a small minority seem to think that Boyle’s appearance is the result of illness. Some have said that Bell’s Palsy can manifest like this, while others say that certain steroid medications used to treat Lupus and similar conditions can have the same results.

After thinking about it for a while, I’m inclined to believe that it’s the result of illness. Why? Because come on, there’s no way in hell LFB thinks her face looks normal. And if it was because of plastic surgery gone awry, she would either be involved in a major lawsuit or she would just hide out until things got… fixed. Right???

Either way, I hope she’s ok now or on the road to getting better. Still, I’m rather shocked about this whole thing!

Takeru Kobayashi is famous for one thing: being able to eat massive quantities of food in a short period of time. He has won the Nathan’s Famous Hot Dog Eating Contest (annually held on the 4th of July) six times, and pretty much makes a living on the “competitive eating” circuit.

Anyway, Kobayashi has just added another title trophy to his collection, this time beating American competitive eating champ Joey Chestnut in a Pizza Hut/P’zone pizza eating contest. Kobayashi ate 5 3/4 pizzas — in six minutes — while Chestnut downed 5 1/2.

Wow, I think that would be enough to put me off pizza for life! But these competitive eaters are certainly a different breed. Not only can they chow down all that food so quickly, but they also manage to stay at a normal-looking weight. What’s their secret? Does all the food come right back out once they leave the stage? Do they have an inside line on the best weight loss pills? Have they had gastric bypass surgery? I have no idea.

At any rate, it boggles my mind that people can make good money just from eating. I guess it really is true that if you’re the best at something, no matter what it is, you can profit from your skills.

(AP Photo/Hector Mata)

Well, the backlash against Susan Boyle seems to have peaked at the wrong time for the Scottish singer. All week long, there have been negative stories, blog posts, and Twitter updates about her, and this played at least a small part in her loss in tonight’s Britain’s Got Talent final. Don’t get me wrong, dance group Diversity were amazing, but I’ve never seen so much hatred directed at a talent show competitor before, which is what happened to Boyle this week.

It’s hard to say when the backlash began, but criticisms reached a fever pitch beginning with Boyle’s semi-final performance. That’s when people started saying she was overrated, a fake, a sham, a bitch, and worse. Another big complaint was about all the press Boyle was getting. Aren’t there more important issues to worry about in this world? Shouldn’t we be working on a cure for diabetes or an effective Mesothelioma treatment? Why are the media bothering with a “nobody” like Susan Boyle?

Things progressively worsened during the week, with Boyle having run-ins with reporters who were constantly hounding her. The pressure became so intense that she was even briefly considering quitting the competition to get away from it all.

Boyle decided on a reprise of “I Dreamed a Dream”, and sang it a bit differently this time. Personally, I thought she was terrific, but I can’t tell if she was better than Diversity or not. I mean, how do you judge a singer against a dance troupe? Apples and oranges, IMO. At any rate, both were good, so I don’t think Boyle fans can complain about the results.

I wonder if Boyle still wants to be a famous singer? She has now gotten a taste of that kind of fame and constant attention, but it doesn’t seem like she can handle it very well. I guess the lesson here might be to be careful what you wish for!

I hope Susan does put out a record soon, though. I’d buy a CD of her signing show tunes!

Being from the Midwest, I have been a fan of The Onion newspaper for quite a long time. I visit their website often, as it’s always good for a laugh or two.

For instance, today I came across this “article” that had me chuckling for a while:

Obama Revises Campaign Promise Of ‘Change’ To ‘Relatively Minor Readjustments In Certain Favorable Policy Areas’

WASHINGTON—In a slight shift from his campaign trail promise, President Obama announced Monday that his administration’s message of “Change” has been modified to the somewhat more restrained slogan “Relatively Minor Readjustments in Certain Favorable Policy Areas.” “Today, Americans face a great many challenges, and I hear your desperate calls for barely measurable and largely symbolic improvements in the status quo,” said Obama, who vowed never to waver in his fight for every last infinitesimal nudge forward on the controversial issues of torture and the military ban on homosexuals. “Remember: Yes we can, if by that you mean tiptoeing around potentially unpopular decisions that could alienate a large segment of the populace.” Washington insiders said that, while the new mottos are certainly in keeping with Obama’s pledge of government transparency, they are significantly less catchy.

Ha ha, hilarious — and so, so true!! Gotta love The Onion!

Is there a better college football story right now than Myron Rolle? I doubt it. Rolle is the former FSU safety who graduated in 2.5 years and famously had a game’s start time pushed back a couple hours by school officials so he could interview for a prestigious Rhodes Scholarship and still play.

The result? Rolle won the scholarship and has deferred entry into the NFL (and instant millionaire status) in order to study at Oxford. How cool is that!!

I think in 99% of the cases where an elite athlete is a standout in the classroom as well, he or she would put the academic stuff on hold. After all, you can still become a doctor at age 35 after a long NFL career, but you can’t be a first- or second-round pick (which is where Rolle is projected to go when he does enter the draft) at that age.

Anyway, I will certainly be on the lookout for more news about Myron Rolle in the future. What an amazing person… I’m sure he’ll go far as a doctor and a pro safety!

I used to play craps at the riverboats quite often, but have stayed away recently because I usually ended up losing more than I’d win. (Hey, have you ever heard a “gambler” admit to being on the losing side of things? Most of the people I talk to say they’re ahead overall.) So anyway, I was amazed to read about Patricia Demauro of New Jersey, who set a new record for maintaining control of the dice in craps. She was playing at the Borgata Hotel Casino & Spa in Atlantic City on Saturday, and held the dice for 4 hours and 18 minutes. That’s truly unbelievable!

If you’ve ever played craps before, then you know how quick the game moves. I think the longest I’ve ever held the dice was for something like 20 minutes and that felt like forever. I can’t imagine standing there for 4 hours!

According to casino officials, Patricia rolled 154 consecutive times before finally losing. They wouldn’t say how much she won, though. But I’m sure it was enough to go on a shopping spree in the women’s shoes department of her favorite store or maybe even get a brand new plasma TV. Heck, if she kept parlaying her bets, she might have even ended up with enough for a new car! You never know with craps!

This story makes me want to go to the casino now. I guess it’s a good thing I don’t have any money on me!

I can’t watch today’s Blackhawks game anymore. The team just came apart at the seams in the second period, and it’s painful to see these young guys try to keep up with Detroit.

Things started off bad, beginning with Cristobal Huet getting the call since Nikolai Khabibulin is injured. Huet gave up a shorthanded goal in the middle of the first period, and then Detroit got another score with less than a minute to play in that frame. The Red Wings then started the second on a power play, and scored once again.

The Hawks finally got on the board thanks to a power play of their own, but then Detroit reeled off two more quick goals to make it 5-1. Huet was pulled after the fourth goal, making way for third-stringer Corey Crawford.

This could be one of those demoralizing losses that really puts a team down for good. Or it can be a character builder that makes them stronger and more prepared for next year.

I hope it’s the latter.

The Hawks have a great group of young players, so even if they get knocked out of the playoffs by Detroit (which seems very likely at this point), I have a feeling they’ll be back again. Much like Crosby’s Penguins from last year to this year.